Just call me Lady of the Manor of Tallantire.

This is where I want to live. I ache, I burn to live in this 27-bedroom estate (I'd be happy with just a wing, really), complete with walled garden and "mature woodland." Check out that front lawn. Now that's a front lawn, my friends. Frisbee heaven! And all for a mere $4.6 million! Hell, you could spend that on a 3-bedroom McMansion in Los Feliz. And get this: "the Manor of Tallantire was granted in 1080 by Waldeof, whose descendants took the name of Tallantire until 1578, when the seat transferred to the Fletchers of Cockermouth." You don't say.

I blame my formative teen years at music school in England, a school that was really two old stone mansions side by side, complete with tea break at 11 (hot milky tea and homemade shortbread, mmm), rose garden, orchard, sweeping lawns and...mature woodland...it's etched into my soul. I...must...go...back...