Another boy wearing makeup.

I take Adam Lambert’s popularity as a sign, despite apocalyptic indications to the contrary – a shrinking economy, melting polar ice caps, Sharia law, Republicans who say that waterboarding doesn’t hurt, Republicans giving Obama’s first 100 days a failing grade, as if somehow Shrub’s nearly 3,000 disastrous days NEVER HAPPENED – a sign that all is not lost. Sure, the fact that Adam is talented is a contributing factor – if Mr. Eyeliner were a no-good wannabe, he’d have been, if not booed off the American Idol stage, at least damned with the faint praise of lackluster votes. His boy-next-door wholesome cuteness and emo haircut, and those flattering blue lights, make fourteen-year-old hearts flutter all across the nation. Then he opens his mouth and pours out that melting voice and heck, a certain Charming Girlfriend is brought to tears every time. And she is no fourteen-year-old.

Adam wears makeup unapologetically and I guess there are pictures of him on the Internet in drag and with his tongue down some guy’s throat. And in drag. That’s why I love America a little more right now – because no one seems to care that Adam is gay. There are comments online like “Too bad he’s not into girls cuz he’s so cute!” and “He is my favorite!!!!!!!! He's not just good, he is so aammaazziinngg!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That’s thirteen exclamation points. Hey, Charming Girlfriend, is that you? The girls are still holding up the hand-painted “Adam Lambert is my Idol” signs and shrieking those so-high-only-dogs-can-hear-them shrieks.

I also got my love on for Allison Iraheta and her candy-apple-red hair – I mean, that spunky lil sixteen-year-old can SANG! But then Adam comes on all pompadoured and powdered within an inch of his life and, Clay Aiken notwithstanding, I would love to see an openly gay or bi American Idol, one who doesn’t take eleventeen years to come out. Just think of how many fourteen-year-old girls are gonna vote for same-sex marriage in four years when they get legal, because of mascara-wearing, high-hair-having, voice-like-you-died-and-went-to-heaven Adam Lambert.