The crush-worthy Rachel Maddow.

You say you are overwhelmed by the calumny and viciousness of the Pain – McPain campaign? Struggling in the throes of despair at the decline of Western civilization perpetrated by the Shrub/Cheney imperial administration, aka the Fall of Rome v.2? Choked with grief at the destruction of our oceans, polar bears, wolves and old-growth forests? Outraged by the evils perpetrated on rape victims, pregnant women and queers who just want an ecru wedding?

My fellow Americans, I give you Rachel Maddow.










Oh Rachel, you who have burst upon the media landscape (scoring top ratings on MSNBC in your few days on the air, no less) in the nick of time to reach out a lifesaving hand, a sympathetic grimace, a knowing smirk! (Yes, I realize I'm jumping on the Rachel wagon late in the game – she's had a show on Air America for quite some time – but radio is not television.)

It is on television that we can appreciate the expressive eyebrows, the subtle butch makeup, the twinkle. Yes, she has a twinkle!

Rhodes Scholar Rachel, with her poli sci PhD, her direct, articulate manner and her sly and trenchant commentary exposing the hypocrisy, lies and sheer ridiculousness of the Republicans.

Sure, we've had the inimitable Jon Stewart, the dryly fabulous Keith Olbermann, the indispensable Bill Maher (to wit: "the underlying problem we have in this country is that the people are too stupid to be governed. The public is like a dog...it can’t understand any sort of rational argument").

But Rachel is way hotter – and she is an out lesbian. Yeehaw! Rachel, this is an open invitation: bring the wife and I'll bring the cocktails.